


A Mountie On Line One

by dsa_archivist



Category: Frasier (TV), due South
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-05-10
Updated: 1999-05-10
Packaged: 2018-11-10 12:48:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11127297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Dr. Frasier Crane gets a call from Our Favorite Mountie





	A Mountie On Line One

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

A Mountie On Line One

# A Mountie On Line One

### A Due South / Frasier crossover (Rated G)

by Antonia Gray

Settled comfortably behind his microphone, latte in hand, Dr. Frasier Crane's calm is about to be shattered by a certain red-suited Constable. Blissfully unaware, he turns to his producer and says...

Frasier: "Okay Roz, who's our next caller?"

Roz: "On line one, we have Benton. He's having a few problems with his partner."

Frasier: "Hello, Benton. I'm listening."

Benton: "Good day, Dr. Crane. I'm calling because as an officer sworn to uphold the law, I feel I should be able to place my life in the hands of my partner with nary a quiver. However, lately his behavior has become surly, unenthusiastic, and I'm afraid to say, downright contrary."

Frasier: "Well, I can certainly see your problem. A partner unwilling to rush headlong into mortal danger on your behalf is surely a justifiable cause for concern. Have you tried speaking to him about your feelings? Perhaps through direct confrontation, you could reach the cause of your partner's ambivalence, and come to some sort of understanding."

Benton: "That's a fine suggestion Dr. Crane, but my partner is apparently way past the talking stage."

Frasier: "Now Benton. If approached in the correct manner, no one is beyond the talking stage."

Benton: "Oh, I've tried, Dr. Crane. I've sat him down and tried to get to the root of this unprovoked resentment, but when he glares back at me with that hard blue eye, and that soft brown one, I just know he's not even bothering to read my lips-"

Frasier: "Pardon me, Benton. What was that about reading your lips?

Benton: "Oh, they say he can't possibly read lips, but he can if he wants to. Frankly, Dr. Crane, I'm starting to wonder if a small bribe would be in order, if that's what it'd take to restore the equilibrium between us. I wouldn't be the first time, either."

Frasier: "Now be careful what you say, Benton! Remember you're on the air, and this talk of bribery among police officers could put you on very thin ice...."

Benton: "He saved my life once, when I fell through some thin ice. Never let me forget it either. And to be perfectly honest, Dr. Crane, someone who has been, um, how may I put this delicately? In flagrante delicto on the air is in no position to make moral judgements."

Frasier: "Point taken. But we're not talking about me here."

Benton: "Correct. But however reluctant I am to resort to such crude methods of persuasion, I do feel a well placed bribe is in order to restore harmony. I'll have to give in to his silent demands, and procure a bag of liver treats on my way home tonight."

Frasier: "I'm confused, Benton, as to exactly where liver treats fit into this equation. Are you saying your partner would rather be bribed with a bag of liver treats than, say, a suitcase full of unmarked bills?"

Benton: "What would a wolf want with money?"

Frasier: "A wolf? Your partner is a wolf?"

Benton: "The one in question, yes....Oh my. Didn't I make that clear?"

Frasier: "As mud. Well, that's about all we have time for. Benton has admirably demonstrated a facet of psychology on the show for us today. So often we already know the answers to the questions that plague us, we just have to be willing to dig deep into our psyches, and and act upon the basic truth we find there- however odd it may be. Benton, finally, may I recommend Mr Waggly's Liver Snaps, my father's dog loves them. Thank you for your call."

Benton: "Thank you kindly, Dr. Crane."

* * *


End file.
